Going out in style

For anyone born between 1961 and 1969 you have to admit, Michael Jackson was a part of the progress of us growing up. I am not saying anything about his personal lifestyle or choices he made, we all make bad decisions and I am not going to judge MJ for anything he did, said or was accused of doing. Why? Simple. It is not my place to judge anyone until I am perfect (maybe by Tuesday) and until then I am just not going to go there. But my point is this: MJ was an icon to us as we saw his transformation through the years. His music was always inspiring and ahead of it’s time production-wise. He wrote about family, love, peace, and many other things that surely stand for some of our morals today. I saw his movie “This is it” and I was amazed. I personally only own 2 albums he ever produced, but I was early to see “Zombieland” and sat in MJ’s movie for the last half. What struck me utterly between the eyes, was how humble he was, how brilliant he was musically and how his whole body, not just his voice, was a musical instrument. He could move his hands alone and look cool. I thrust and plop my body all over the place trying to dance and just end up looking somewhat similar to Jello being jiggled then thrown against a wall. Michael felt his music like no one else I have ever seen.

But his attitude toward the other team members (dancers, singers and technicians) was incredible. I mean it’s Michael Jackson for crying out loud…he could have any attitude he wanted and nobody could stop him. I have seen movie and music stars FAR less accomplished than he was try to bully their way around and DEMAND respect rather than try to earn it with their own respect of those around them. MJ was kind, appreciative, inspiring and open to suggestions all the way through. Never did he say “Do it my way or else…” but rather he made suggestions, and then was open to feedback.

Whether you stand on this side or that side of the fence when it comes to MJ, I for one was saddened at the end of the movie that we have lost a musical genius who was a part of my life since I was a child. I am glad his music will go on for a long time and maybe more people will come to know his music in time.

"Quick To The Flame"

Quick to the flame while the shadow still lingers,
seen flickering about near a warm glow of amber.
Swaying through time with great mesmerization
We’re drawn to its brilliance and calm emanation

Then comes a draft, or a drop, or a fall,
And swift as an arrow the glimmer grows small.
Quick to the flame before it fails to be light!
Say grace, say peace, then tell it good night.

Now shrouded in darkness these walls we despise
But wait! We still see it, if we just close our eyes.
The warmth is familiar and its glow feels like home,
Though the flame may be absent, we’re never alone.

Mo West  1957-2010

The grass over there.

Don’t you hate it when you have a genuine feeling about something that is really personal to you and very deep rooted, only to hear some simple quip that squashes your validation for how you feel? I have never met anyone who was happy with who they were, how they were, or why they were. Sure it is one thing to have a crooked nose like me and wish it was straight, or legs like tree stumps and wish they were skinny. But it is a little disconcerting when a drop-dead gorgeous model goes on national tv and says she’s not happy with her butt. Or some genius teenager who has a college degree at 18 wishes he could swim. Whether it is a physical characteristic, personality trait or mental capability, we all seem to find someone else who has something we want. So why does a girl with incredibly curly blonde hair wish she had long straight black hair? And the curious thing is…the dark-haired girl envy’s the blonde. Why can’t we be happy and appreciate what we have and who we are? Why does our human nature tell us we need to “be” anyone other than who we are?

I have seen people of all ages and all possible economic statuses and all imaginable body types all say “Boy, If I only I had their legs/house/hair/brain/wife/eyes/job/parents/heritage/etc etc… And I am standing there in amazement as I think to myself, “Wow…you got it all…why in the world would you want for ANYTHING else!?” It’s got to be tiring incessantly chasing the “grass” someone else is enjoying. And my, how foolish we look to someone else who sees us and says “Why would they want for anything more?”

Ho-Ho-Cha-Ching!

When I think about Christmas, I have many feelings about many aspects of this very commercialized religious holiday…see? There’s one feeling right there! I fear that we have strayed so far from what the day actually celebrates that it has all becomes about presents and parties. But the cool thing is…I see Christmas as a time of the year when for one 24 hour period, we are all the same. At least from a little kids view anyway.

It doesn’t matter your skin color, your age, your beliefs, your social status, your wealth, whether you are in a split home, whether you were good or bad, or even if you are ugly. Santa is coming to see you! I have experienced Christmas in several countries, and it is awesome to see the difference in culture and style of celebration and yet, the kids are all the same…AMAZED, JOYOUS, THANKFUL, and HOPEFUL.

Despite the commercialization of the day, it still remains a day of incredible equality and happiness. Everyone tries to drive a little kinder, talk a little nicer, and act a little more friendly…even to strangers! What a great example and reminder for all of us to realize the way we should act the other 364 days of the year. True, exchanging presents for all those days might lose some of the anxiety, but is it really true then, too much of a good thing is bad? Well, maybe not in this case. Maybe if we just “acted” like it was Christmas, it would be a much happier unified world.

Winter wonderland or frozen torment?

I love snow. Who doesn’t…right? Oh, the people who have to plow their driveways every morning before they can go to work…ok…oh, the people who it takes 10 times longer to drive anywhere…ok…oh, the people who get snowed in their homes and can’t leave for weeks?
Oh well, for us in the South where we get about 4 inches of snow annually (if we’re lucky) it is a treat to see the white fluffy flakes now and again. I especially love how the snow insulates the noise pollution of the cars and general ambience of the outside. It seems so quiet and that you can hear the screams of playing kids a mile away as they make a snowman as best as they can remember how. It also seems like snow brings a calming to everything. People drive slower, walk slower, stay inside and sit by the fire with their loved ones and just spend quality time in a way that gets overlooked with “normal’ life above 32° and in the sunlit streets of hustle and bustle. But as a kid, when they announced school was closed due to snow…it was like Valentine’s day, Halloween, President’s day, leap year and Christmas all rolled in to one amazingly incredible day. I could have gone all day without resting, food or insulation. Losing a toe to frost bite would have been just a cool way to remember the day of freedom and a lifetime’s worth of fun! So to you in the aforementioned group who deal with snow as an encumbrance, and lacking any exhilaration…I am sorry. We love it down here!

"Love and war...what's it for?"

There’s a little Seinfeld reference to you fellow aholics! Love is a curious and splendor thing. We start out very young learning that “love” is that goofy feeling you get when he/she passes you in the hall. Then we learn that “love” is the way a person looks at you and you feel like melting in your seat. Then we find out that touching a special someone or even better…having them touch us is sheer ecstasy. I won’t follow too much more the physical part of love…I will let you discover that on your own or have someone else tell you about that. But then we find that that physical love and being “in love” is really just a predecessor to the even truer of loves. I heard a phrase the other day “When you make love to a person, your body makes a commitment to them” That is why so many people confuse this physical love with a deeper love that our bodies were engineered to strive for. Loving someone when they are gross or rude or mean or even when you don’t really like the person. Any relationship will have it hills and valleys. Some days are diamonds, some are black chunks of coal. But it is the love that binds us through commitment that lasts. A physical love will pass within a few hours, but the love that holds people together for 60+ years, is something we should all strive to achieve. Will it be perfect and without conflict? Absolutely not! Will it be blissful evenings in each others arms by the fire? Not always! But it will be kind, forgiving, patient, long suffering…does this sound familiar? God knew what he was dong when he made us and exactly what our needs were going to be and how to deal with them. So read up on the elements of love and see how they describe you and your part of your relationship. Don’t worry about the other half of your relationship, you get yours right, and then they will learn from you!